Have you ever seen someone walk a room full of people and instantly everyone turns around and look as they walk? Their stature, the way the dress, the way they walk and just their whole demeanor screams confidence. And, you think to yourself, Dang, I wish I was that confident and I was I could pull that off. Guess what? You can. Confidence is sexy, someone who is confident and assertive without coming off as arrogant is so attractive.

A lot of people think that confidence is how you look or how you dress, that you have a be beautiful and have a great body to be confident. You might even think, I could never be so confident- that’s the little naysayer in your head telling you BS. Confidence is a choice, it’s a choice and it shows you how you really feel about yourself. That’s why it goes hand in hand with your self-esteem.

When I was younger, I was never really confident, I didn’t think I was pretty- I actually was super skinny and I had a particularly long neck and got bullied quite a lot for it. In 5th grade, my crush called me an “ostrich” in front of everyone. I was never the boy’s most liked in my classes, I was shy and quiet and felt extremely uncomfortable with the least amount of attention. To add to that, I began to develop social anxiety at a very early age- genes I tell you. I would constantly think something was on my face or just that people would never talk to me or want to be my friend because they thought I was too strange.

My self-esteem was none existent. It definitely grew once puberty came along and I started getting more attention from the opposite sex, getting more involved in clubs and other social societies, I started getting to know myself some more and realized I actually was pretty dope.

Related post: 6 Powerful Ways You Can Deeply Practice Self-Love

Once I started college, I joined clubs, ranked in high leadership positions as well as I became more outspoken and assertive with doing a lot of presentations. I also have to be honest and say that over the years, my self-esteem has definitely taken several blows due to failed relationships, friendships, and my body growing and changing outside of societal norms.

That’s why you have to learn how to pick yourself up and remember how genuinely dope you are. You can’t wait for someone to come into your life and make you feel confident or tell you that you’re an amazing person- it starts with YOU. You have to believe it first.

Here are some amazing ways you can build your self-esteem and gain confidence, enjoy 🙂 

1.Maintain A Good Posture and Eye Contact.

A lot of time in movies when they’re teaching someone how to get that girl/ boy, the first thing they teach them is “The Walk”. Posture and eye contact are everything, if you are constantly slouching, holding your head down, avoiding eye contact, or just plain and straight have a lazy walk. 

Then that automatically tells people that you have low self-esteem and no confidence at all, not only that but it also puts a lot of pressure on your spinal area. Even if you don’t feel confident, hold your head up, pull back your shoulders, walk proudly and maintain eye contact with everyone you meet.

Fake it until you make it actually does work.

 And trust me, after a while it’ll come naturally. It’ll also help in interviews, presentations, at your job, and even in social settings- even loves someone who is confident and assertive and you can be that someone.

2. Smile More Often 

Your smile is probably going to be one of your best features, it’s so radiant and full of life. It’s unique to you, nobody else can have your smile. Has a baby ever smiled at you? Instantly melts your heart, right.

Now I’m not saying to walk around with a smile on your face 24/7 (you’re not a clown), but a few times during the day won’t hurt, especially when you’re talking and interacting with others. Imagine if you smiled every now and then instead of walking around with a straight face all the time. It’s more inviting and it makes people want to approach you.

My advice is to start smiling at the beginning and the end of each interaction, I’ll make you more pleasant and approachable at the beginning and it will also leave a good impression of you at the end.

Related post: 8 Ways You Can Drastically Improve Your Self-worth.

3. Get Creative and Find Something You’re Good At.

Failure and low self-esteem go hand in hand, you might feel like there’s nothing you are good at and you’re a failure which then makes you have extremely low self-esteem. Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re NOT a failure- failing only makes you human.

Sometimes all it takes is finding something that you’re good at and I promise once you excel in that area, your self-esteem will be out the roof and your confidence will barge right in too! Now is a great time for you to get creative, get engaged, there are so many new things you can do. There are so many new technologies and innovations; you have graphic designing, illustrations, creative art, editing, photography, yoga and so much more. 

Start taking some classes and free courses, it’s an excellent way for you to find something you really like and might be good at plus making new connections and building a strong community.

4. Dress To Impress.

When you look good, you feel even better! The most important person you need to impress is YOURSELF. Your outfits and the way how you put yourself together say a lot about how you feel about yourself. I know sometimes we all have those lazy days where we’re looking at a hot mess which is perfectly fine but that can’t be EVERYDAY. 

Get your hair done, do your nails, apply some makeup, get a full body wax and lotion every single part of your body. Pick out a great outfit, wear more vibrant colors, also wear that dress you’ve been saving for a “special occasion”– because you’re that special occasion. 

Please be that “extra” and “overdressed” person.

And when you do all that and pair it with a good posture when you walk whilst maintaining eye contact, there will be lights, everyone will be staring and you’ll get compliments- your confidence and self-esteem will hug you 🙂

5. Learn How To Take Compliments.

Have you ever complimented someone and they respond with something negative and you feel like you need to reassure them? You could say something like “I love your hair, it looks so great” and they would respond and say something like “It’s nothing special, I just did a quick thing”. 

Or, you could even compliment their work and they would undermine their own self instead of taking the compliment. That screams low self-esteem and confidence, but hey we’ve all been there. No one is born with an immense amount of confidence and self-esteem and that’s why you’re here at Beaucraft- recreating your inner beauty.

You have to learn how to take and give back compliments, say thank you, smile and be courteous. Also, taking that positive energy and giving back some, return a compliment.

 Tell women, you like their hair, you like their makeup, that color brings out your eyes and your butt looks amazing in that dress. It doesn’t take anything from you, in fact, you have to have confidence to give it back- you’re already ahead.

6. Accentuate Your Best Features.

Everyone has things they are not so happy about as well as those things they are definitely hyped about. Find those things and accentuate them.

If you have a nice chest-flaunt that. Nice teeth?- keep smiling, whatever you think your best feature or characteristic is, take advantage of them and highlight them. 

God knew not to give me straight white teeth with a big butt- I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I probably audition for a collage ad and wear things to show my butt all the time.

7. Be Mindful of Your Thoughts and How You Speak to Yourself.

Honestly, sometimes we are our biggest critters and naysayers, why do we do this to ourselves? You should speak to yourself how you would speak to someone you love and want the best for. Doing affirmations and small encouragement can really make a great difference. 

This also has been a journey for me, rerouting hateful and negative thoughts into more compassionate and positive ones, I often catch myself saying really mean things to myself that I would never even say out loud to another person and I’m like- Woah there.

Whenever we fail, we’re the first ones to call ourselves a failure, why not show yourself support and say ‘That’s okay, I’m still learning and now I’ll know what to do next time’. Saying mean and ugly things to yourself has the same effect as when someone says something that’s ugly and mean to you, it starts with YOU. 

8. Do Something That Makes You Feel Good About Yourself Everyday.

Another way you can easily boost your confidence and self-esteem is simply by doing things that make you feel good about yourself. The idea of this is to affirm who you already are and to make you feel good about yourself. People don’t just like you because you’re pretty or because you have a nice body- they like you because you are a funny gal, you are kind and considerate, they like you because of who you are.

Some activities that you can do are; making people laugh -I secretly believe that the reason why people read my blog is not because I give good advice but because I’m literally hilarious. Being able to make people laugh gives such a great feeling and it immediately boosts your confidence.

You can also try doing acts of kindness like holding the door for someone, getting a friend/co-worker a coffee, complimenting those around you etc.

Doing your makeup just and daily affirmations is also something that I’ve improvised into my morning routine and I find it to be really helpful in reducing negative self-talk and making me feel good about myself.

Lastly, moving your body has a significant impact on your self-esteem and confidence, because it increases the level of “happy” hormones in your body which ultimately just make you feel good all around. Whether that be dancing in your pajamas, going to the gym, yoga, or running- all movements are valid.

I can testify- I do 10 squats and I feel like I’m the baddest b*tch EVER.

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