10 Incredible Ways You Can Heal Yourself Mentally and Emotionally.

When you think of healing you probably think of a scene in Grey’s Anatomy where there’s doctors and all different types of physician running around, or therapy with someone sitting at the edge of their chair taking notes and listening keenly, maybe you think of herbs and Chinese healing like chakra and ayurveda. Healing has become so profound because there’s so much cultural richness and ethnicity and I love it!

There are also so many different types of healing for different ailments. There’s spiritual healing(of the soul), mental healing(of the mind), emotional healing(of the heart), physical healing(of the body) and holistic healing( everything I just mentioned). 

As a nurse, our main purpose is to heal people, I mean doctors perform the great task of curing them but we also do a great job of healing them as well. It’s taking care of their wounds, helping them get through hard times, being compassionate, holding their hands and rubbing their back, bringing them warm towel and being there for them in their last moments.

I say all this to say that healing is very important. Healing from heartbreaks or the loss of a loved one, betrayal, or childhood traumas is very important and it projects how your whole life will end up and who you will become. There are so many people in pain. I mean they look pretty dapper in their suit and tie, their nicely done make-up and groomed attire. They probably have a really nice house, a car, and run successful businesses but inside they’re hurting, they’re broken. 

It takes specific situations to really realize how broken some people are, because it’s so easy to distract yourself from your pain and it’s easy to pretend than to actually face your pain. 

We’re still stuck on our childhood traumas, stuck up on your ex or things people have done to you. I mean physically we’re getting older but mentally and emotionally we’re not growing. We’re not healing. 

What exactly is healing though? 

Healing is the act of becoming whole and it’s your own personal and individualized experience of damage repairment.

I think healing is a huge part of self-love and self-care because it’s all about becoming your best self and advocating for every process that contributes to that, no matter how difficult that might be. 

Related post: 6 Powerful Ways You Can Deeply Practise Self-love.

That’s why my tagline is “Where you become your best self “. 

Self-love is also about identifying those things about you that are not good or healthy and doing everything you can to change that. 

It’s about identifying your own flaws and downfalls. It’s about being self-aware and taking accountability for your actions.

I think a lot of us aren’t healing we’re just repressing and redirecting , just pushing it all under the carpet. 

I recently started becoming more aware of my own mental health and how important it is, learning how and why I need to heal from past traumas as well as finding healthy ways to. 

You know you’re still not healed about something when :

• It still has an emotional hold on you. That is, you get angry, upset or it disturbs your peace in any type of way. 
• You have a problem talking about the situation/ persons involved or talking directly to the person involved.
• You have a problem hearing or saying the person(s) name involved. 

I’m not gonna lie, healing is some hard shit, it hurts you to your core. It’s like ripping the band-aid off, only it takes months and years to finally come off instead of a quick second. It’s excruciating, it’s up and down, it’s a devoted process. 

The things you’ve been through have such a hold on you, it literally affects you physically. 

Have you thought about something that deeply affected you or have a trigger and your whole body stiffens, you instantly feel the same way how you felt when you experienced it. That’s because your body makes chemicals and transmitters whenever there’s a traumatic experience and every time you’re reminded of those, your body releases the same chemicals.

So you’re really reliving the same traumatic and awful moment over and over and over again.

Why put yourself through that? 

You need to have the utmost devotion to yourself. There’s nothing you can’t do, period ❤

How I’ve dealt with trauma? 

Where should I start? 

I have experienced so much childhood and relationship trauma, I was depressed for years and years and no one really realized. I was suffering inside and I felt like I really had no one to talk to.  

I was not very good at handling traumas and healing, I was always angry and I would easily lash out. Everything that I buried under the carpet started piling and piling. It used to take me years to get over things I have experienced because not only am I a very sensitive person, I postponed my pain, and I pretended like everything was fine (yeah, definitely don’t do that) . 

How I grew up and where I grew up, mental health was a ridiculous and almost outrageous. Emotions were seen as even more of a joke, how dare you be sad or cry? Mental health means madness, you we’re either a mad man on the street eating from garbage bin or you we’re a “normal” person, there was no other mental disorders accepted. Whatever you had, you had to suffer in silence . 

There was never an environment where I could be vulnerable and maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me to open up now. 

I had to learn how to heal myself. And the most effective way in which I learned how to heal is to find a new perspectives and empathy. Hurt people hurt people, I don’t have to take everything directed at me is personal- people are suffering inside and pr0ject their own sadness toward others. The sooner I gained that perspective it cleared that narrative I had in my head. 

I then started talking about what I was going through to people who actually understood and were willing to listen, I started journaling, using diversional therapy such as music, and getting more involved in social activities. Building healthier relationships and habits. And giving it TIME. 

But I really want you to know that you’re not alone, that’s one of the main reasons I started this blog 🙂 .

How healing affects you and the benefits of healing. 

Learning to heal and actually healing is a huge part of self-love and your mental health and emotional health overall. 

You need to heal so that you can be a better parent, a better friend, a better, employer, a better coworker and I better partner. You need to heal so you can find peace within yourself and not keep on reliving your traumas over and over again. 

Seeing someone who is 30-something or 40 something but is still very much that broken child or that heartbroken person over something that happened years ago is very much saddening. 

I think I’ve pretty much sold how important mental and emotional healing is and why self-love is a huge part of that so let’s start giving y’all great tips! Enjoy my loves ❤. 

1.Setting boundaries. 

This is probably one of the most important aspects of healing. You know what you’ve been through, you know your triggers and you know what you’re capable of handling mentally and emotionally. 

No one can really understand your pain or your trauma because guess what ? They weren’t there, they’re not you and they don’t know exactly how you feel. 

This is why it’s very important that you set these necessary boundaries. Learn to say no, learn to say you can’t make it, “I don’t want to” is a real reason, start defending and speaking up for yourself. 

Stop allowing others to intimidate you, your opinions matter, your voice matters, dammit you matter !

You have to let people become aware of lines they just shouldn’t cross, don’t come over uninvited unless we’re cool like THAT, don’t force me to do something you’re not comfortable with, stop giving people personal information about eg your phone number and stop allowing others to make decisions on behalf of you. Boundaries are individualized to you and what you and your mental health require, find those and stand by them.

2. Standing Up For Yourself, Self Respect.

This is a little similar to setting boundaries but self-respect and self-advocating has a lot to do with how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you. 

You need to stand up for yourself now more than ever, self healing is a fragile process and the smallest things can easily throw you off balance or trigger you.  

Healing is about taking back your power and rejuvenating your soul. Learning to stand up for the person inside you who has bravely endured all those traumas is a small but important step. 

Don’t allow people to use your past or mistakes against you, don’t allow people to talk over or about you, don’t put yourself in a situation that would jeopardize your journey and what you have built for yourself. Advocate for yourself.

Related Post: 8 Obvious Signs You Are Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted.

3. Therapy

I’m always talking and advocating for therapy because of the effect it has had on me and also how effective I know it can be. Talking about what you’ve been through, working through those emotions whatever they might be and saying out loud and admitting how you feel to someone who is trained to help you work through your trauma can really help you. 

Going to therapy also gives you a better insight into what kind of mental health disorder you might be struggling with based on your symptoms- it helps you to put the pieces together and gives you that “ahh hahh” moment. Click here to read this quick guide on mental health disorders and their symptoms.

There has been a stigma behind therapy and I’m sososo happy that it’s becoming more normal and accepted, I’m happy this generation is becoming more sensitized and aware about mental health and how important it is to heal from your traumas instead of bottling up every emotion 🤍. 

4. Journaling

Journaling is an alternative to therapy, it gives you a safe space and security you need to be open and honest. It’s 100% free of cost and it’s just more convenient.

 As I said before, journaling has brought me through a lot and I’ve always been a “Dear Diary” type of girl. I have journals ever since I was about 11 or 12 and sometimes I read back through them and laugh so hard. 

I was such a funny kid ! It’s something you can always store and read back to stay track of your journey as well as it gives you all the necessary tools you need for adequate self-expression.

5. Find A Form Of Expression.

Healing and channeling all your emotions in a way that is helpful and fruitful can do a lot for you. Expression is the way you express your emotions in a way that is creative, therapeutic and , maybe even fun.

 I don’t know how many of you watched Bates Motel when it was on but one of the ways Norman channeled his emotions and dealt with his trauma was through Taxidermy. 

And even though others found it gross and disgusting, it was how he expressed himself and coped with his emotions and trauma. That’s an example of expression, it could also be art, sculpture, painting, photography, sports, gardening or, even writing- you could do poetry. 

You could tell your story in such a unique way that only a few people would understand, it could even turn into a profitable hobby! You never know but it’s always good to learn new skills and try new things.

6. Confrontation And Forgiveness

This is definitely the next big step in healing. For me, It’s hard to get over a particular situation if we don’t talk about it, like it’s still going to be at the back of my mind- I need closure. 

You could initiate this conversation and talk about how you feel and how you were affected and what you wish would have happened instead. But I know that’s not always possible or it doesn’t always work out in your favor and in fact, it can do more harm than good- that was what happened in my case. 

But that’s okay, you don’t always need confrontation for forgiveness. We can get creative. One of the things I did after I came out of a really awful breakup that I had been struggling with for months was that I wrote down all of my emotions in my journal and I tore those pages out and lit them and watched them burn. It was a nice little memorial. Okay- that probably sounds a bit morbid but stay with me. 

I forgave him, it gave me closure I no longer had that burden or was angry. I felt free. Sometimes confrontation isn’t always the best decision and it’s up to you to make that assessment. Because what if I went over for “closure”, I would probably be running a mommyblog right now instead of Beaucraft. 

7. Getting A New Perspective.

 Getting a new perspective is a lot like letting go of how you feel and allowing yourself to take on different faces that allows you to see things from different angles. 

It gives you new insight and a completely different way of looking at things which creates an environment that can heal you. 

Say for example you’re from a family of medical doctors, everyone in your family eventually became a doctor of some sort and it’s their legacy. 

There has always been an immense amount of pressure on you even though you hated blood and loathed the idea of med school. Nevertheless, you pushed ahead at your parents wishes and applied for med school, you got through but failed miserably and dropped out in your second semester. 

Depression kicks in as you start to feel like a failure, you start volunteering at a small elementary school nearby shortly and discover you actually love kids and their cute little faces! 

You decide to pursue a career as a preschool teacher which was so much easier and enjoyable. You probably won’t make as much money but you have a comfortable salary and you get more free time.

 You now can’t imagine yourself in any other profession, you’re incredibly happy and your parents and family came around shortly. 

The perspective here is : You needed to fail, disappoint your parents and go through that awful stage of depression to find your dream job and be truly happy. Perspective is sometimes the tool you need to heal from an awful experience:).

8. Just Going Through The Motions.

I think when we’re going through or we’ve been through traumatic experiences, the first thing we try to do is put on a good look. We dont like the idea of everyone knowing that we’re depressed or going through a a hard time. 

It’s a sensitive topic and the last thing you need is everyone in your business and giving you fake sympathy. We don’t handle our emotions well or in the healthiest manner, a lot of homes dont create that environment where you can freely express yourself and your emotions.

 And so we repress our feelings, we bury them deep and we redirect them. We pretend we’re okay but deep down we’re struggling on the inside.

Healing yourself is about soul searching, it’s about getting to the core of who you are what really affects you. When I say “going through the motions”, I literally mean feeling, feeling everything at that.

 Letting in all the pain, the betrayal, the hurt, the rejection, the anger – everything you’ve repressed. This is the hardest part, because once you let those emotions in there’s really no going back. It’s probably the hardest and most difficult thing you’ll experience- it was for me. 

The only way through a tunnel is through it. 

But it’s a necessary step that you need to take to completely heal, it might last for days, even weeks. But I promise that no matter how hard it seems, you’ll get through it. There’s always a calm after the storm.

9. Don’t Self isolate

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this because I have self isolated many times when I am going through hard times and I’ve heard other people say that they have done it and it was helpful. That is how I heal, but I think that’s the case because I’ve been through depression so many times that I am confident in my ability to handle it.

 But here’s my thing, depression usually wants you to self-isolate right.

 It wants you to feel like you’re alone and no one else understands you which really deepens your depression even more. This isn’t good at all, this could lead to self-harm or even suicide- God forbid.

 One of the things I’ve said here in the past is that I wish I has gotten help sooner or I wish I had spoken to someone professionally- I wish I hadn’t done this all alone.

 And so I’m saying this to say that you don’t have to self-isolate, be around people who will make you laugh and smile, and forget your pain and what you’re going through. 

Be around people thatwill make you forget that you’re probably going through the hardest process in your life.

Be around people that make you feel safe.

There’s nothing wrong with support, one of the greatest feelings is being surrounded by good people who love and support you- you don’t have to be alone.

10. Affirmations.

I know that affirmations still seem silly to a lot of people, which is understandable when I just started they seemed a bit silly to me too. 

But affirmations are about redirecting and recreating your thoughts and perspective. When you start saying and thinking positively, you will start feeling so as well. 

They have helped millions of people and I’m sure they can help you too if you do them the right way. I want you to say these slowly with me and repeat as many times as you feel like :

I can be more than my traumas and past experiences

I don’t have to be controlled by my feelings anymore

I am working on healing emotionally and mentally

I am working on being free

I am slowly but surely becoming my best self 

Join my newsletter to receive affirmations like these amongst other exclusive content. I’m excited to join you on your self-love and self-healing journey .

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