As we get older and older, the issue of self-worth and how important it is will keep popping up, whether it’s in your relationships, friendships, or career. There is a lot of comparison with self-worth and self-esteem and confidence but there’s so much more depth to it than that.
What is self-worth?
Merriam-Webster dictionary describes self-worth as:
A sense of one’s own value as a human being .
There’s recently been a high demand for Birkin bags, people all around the world are willing to pay thousands and thousands of dollars to acquire this bag(despite how ugly they truly are) and why?
Because Birkin has set their product at such high value and they know it and everyone around them also knows it. A huge concept of self-worth is that it’s 100% up to you; imagine standing in front of the universe and saying “I can’t do this anymore” “I feel like a complete failure” “I’m not deserving of the good things in my life and i don’t deserve to be happy and at peace” and the universe looks right back at you and says; “Wow, you’re right”.
As opposed to standing in front of the universe and saying “I’m high-value” “I’m going to work hard at achieving everything I’ve ever dreamed of” “I’m grateful for the beautiful relationships I’ve created in my life” and “I’m constantly working to become the woman of my dreams” and the universe looks at you again and says “Wow, you’re right”.
And even so, there are so much more things that can affect how we perceive ourselves or that can affect our self-worth; it might be past traumas and failures, past relationships, disappointments, and betrayals, and ultimately what we have achieved in our lives.
It’s up to you to determine how you will value your worth. You shouldn’t allow other’s perceptions of you to impede your own, you can’t allow the baggage of your past to dampen your self-worth.
You are so much more than that and sometimes you just have to pick yourself up from situations that were sent to destroy you. Even if you’ve dropped out of college, or have been in relationships where you felt like you were absolutely nothing or you feel like you’re failing in all aspects of yourself- that doesn’t make you less worthy.
You are enough.
No matter how low you might feel like you are now in life or what others have told you (more or likely is BS anyways); you can redeem who you are and improve your self-worth.
Here are some ways you can improve your self-worth, and as usual, enjoy 🙂
1. Setting Boundaries
If you are struggling with low self-worth, setting boundaries is a simple yet important first step. Imagine the president of the United States with absolutely no security guard just casually strolling around in Target shopping for Halloween supplies.
I mean, that would be absolutely crazy, right? That’s exactly how it seems when you don’t set boundaries with the people in all aspects of your life. And, allowing people to constantly disregard your boundaries says that “I see that you don’t respect me or value me but I’m going to continue allowing you to do the same”
Does that seem like someone who has high self-worth to you?
Heck to the no, in fact, you could be self-sabotaging your own happiness by constantly bending your back to make others happy. I wrote a detailed post about the importance of setting emotional and mental boundaries, click here to read.
Related post: 8 Self-sabotaging Behaviours That Are Secretly Making You Miserable.
2. Setting Goals And Working Towards Them
This is very much like proving how much your self-worth to yourself and also saying to yourself like “Hey girl, I got you”. Setting small goals or promises and then working towards them little by little brings a sense of pride within yourself.
If you can do that, it makes you self-reliant. Saying “I’m going to graduate and get my degree” or “I’m leaving this toxic relationship and never looking back” and actually doing it is an indication of how much you value yourself and your happiness.
And so a great way to improve your self-worth is actually making promises to yourself and setting small goals and then achieving them. It completely changes your perception of who you are and in turn, changes how others perceive you as well because you literally did THAT.
3. Focus On Learning To Love Yourself.
There’s so much depth to self-love than we give it, do you like who you are apart from the physicals, the nice clothes and makeup, the career, and all that you have accomplished, do you genuinely like who you are?
If you met yourself today as a stranger, do you think you would like her? Self-worth is about developing a deeper understanding of who you are. Take some time to really get to know yourself, spend time with yourself, do nice things for yourself, do self-reflection, journal, and focus on all the things that make you who you are.
Related post: 5 Authentic Ways You Can Practice Self Love.
Stop seeking validation from everyone else around you, stop constantly trying to please everyone, and focus on what you want. The greater you understand yourself and the more you appreciate your individuality, the more your self-worth will be.
4. Don’t settle For Less Than What You Deserve
Establish a standard and stick by it. This might be in any aspect of your life, you want a friend who will support you and reciprocate your energy- get a friend who does that and never settle.
You want a partner who wants to be married and travel- get a partner who wants that and never settle.
If you want a job that will provide a comfortable life and a healthy work environment, find a job that does because there is. But you have to believe it.
As soon as start to realize that you are deserving of these things and refuse to accept less- your self-worth and self-confidence will naturally increase.
When you set a standard and stick by it, others have no other choice than to meet by those standards, their perception of you also changes.
5. Setting Consequences For Those Who Don’t Value You.
Every time you accept a behavior below your self-worth, you create trust issues within yourself. How you treat yourself and how you allow people to treat you is a direct implication of your self-worth.
One of the worst feelings is hating yourself for the way you allowed people to treat you. It’s the worst betrayal and mistrust, because if I can’t depend on myself to vouch for me then who can I depend on?
I remember once being in a relationship I really liked and who I thought like me too and I was constantly being gaslighted, manipulated, and just not treated how I knew I should be and when I finally had the courage to walk away the reality of everything started to hit me.
I was so angry with myself after replaying everything that happened-like I literally can not believe I allowed this man to treat me this way.
And sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself for allowing people to treat you beneath your self-value and promise yourself never to allow it again. Stop repeating how you expect to be treated- they heard you the first time sis.
Learn to set boundaries and cut people who don’t value you from your life simply because you value you. Don’t allow anyone to devalue you.
Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
6. Protecting Your Peace At All Cost
Internal peace is something that takes a long time to acquire, it takes months and even years to finally be at peace with yourself and your soul.
If you allow people to easily get into your mental space and disturb your peace- you devalue yourself. This all goes back to why it’s important for you to set boundaries and to do other things like practicing mindfulness, doing things that make you happy and prioritizing your healing process.
There’s so much talk about being his/her peace because peace is something that holds a high value; you have to learn to create your own internal peace and protect it at all costs.
7. Activities/ Exercises That Will Improve your Self-worth.
A more active role you can take in improving your self-worth is doing activities and exercises. Like for example, reading self-worth and personal growth books, listening to podcasts, saying affirmations, and being more mindful of the things you say yourself.
I post a lot of exclusive content on my email list that I don’t share on my blog, I talk about my personal experiences in life, share affirmations, and upcoming projects, you’ll also be the first to get freebies and other VIP content, click here to become a part of my VIP club.
You might even want to start journaling, writing about your thoughts, your flaws, who you want to be, and your experiences. Journaling has significant impacts on your personal growth and is often very therapeutic.
Related post: 10 Incredible Benefits Of Journaling On Your Mental Health
8. Working On Yourself.
This is the most important point, yet it’s probably the hardest. Working on yourself means confronting your traumas, calling yourself out on those bad habits, facing hard truths and acknowledging your flaws and failure. It’s hard.
A lot of people go their entire lives just being the same person and having absolutely no personal growth. And subconsciously even they know it too. But it’s a really hard path to take and many people chicken out, but in order for your value to go up- you have to grow too.
Can you imagine what it would be like if Apple was still using a 4S as their main settling product in 2021? Do you think anyone would want to still be using an iPhone 4 right now? Their business would collapse and they would ultimately go into debt.
They are constantly researching, developing new technologies, and keeping up with the needs and wants of the public and almost every year or so- they release a brand new model of iPhone. Their network is constantly increasing.
You need to do the same too- work on always becoming the best version of yourself, take care of your mental health, eat more healthily and learn to heal from your traumas and your self-worth will naturally improve too.
Related post: 10 Amazing Ways You Can Heal Yourself Mentally And Emotionally.
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I love this post, this is so insightful! Thanks for sharing!
[…] A lot of people think that confidence is how you look or how you dress, that you have a be beautiful and have a great body to be confident. You might even think, I could never be so confident- that’s the little naysayer in your head telling you BS. Confidence is a choice, it’s a choice and it shows you how you really feel about yourself. That’s why it goes hand in hand with your self-esteem. […]